"Long Time Green Thumb"

A few days ago, Andrea and I saw Beastly.  I knew this movie didn't look too good, but I thought it would at least be entertaining.  WRONG.  Worst movie I have seen in years.  SERIOUSLY.  Do not waste your money.  Beastly is a modern re-telling of Beauty and the Beast.  The main characters are teenagers in high school, and attend a somewhat futuristic high school that is located at the end of a New York City alleyway.  FOR REAL!?!?!?!  Talk about low budget.  The high school doubles as an airport as well.  I know, confusing.  As the acting goes from bad to REALLY BAD, the "beast" struggles to get the girl to love him so he can become beautiful again.  SELFISH!?!?!  I think so.  As the girl, who already loved the beast before he became the beast, reveals that her father is a drug addict and she is some pure and rare specimen who accepts one for his/her inner being, we (the audience) recognize that she is a very bad and awkward actress.  NOT CUTE.  As she boards a train to run to her father's hospital bed due to an overdoes, the beast chases after the train, but can't catch it because he runs out of platform...oh, and because you can't fucking catch a train!

This movie is stereotypical, predictable, and ridiculous (and not in a good way).  It isn't even a cute date night movie because the acting is awkward.  Additionally, the title of this post is a quotation from the movie.  Enough said.

February Anguished English

Here are my February favorites:

Stop the Presses: "Man struck by lightning faces battery charge"

Wrong Word: "It was a case of love at Versailles"

Sign of the Times: "Nailed to trees along rural roads around Shreveport, Louisiana: Frank's Body Works"

School Daze: "A fairy tale is something that never happened a long time ago"

Sportspeak: "Jerry Remy then hit an RBI single off Hass's leg, which rolled into right field"

Lost in Translation: "In a Jeweler's window in India: We shoot earholes"